I am a Crape Myrtle. Crape myrtles are warm-season flowering shrubs for landscapes. Their flowers are beautiful during the summer and fall. During the fall months, their leaves are colorful, still holding out hope, but during the dormant season, the larger varieties develop attractive bark and call it the best they can do.
They grow best in a location of full sunlight, moist fertile loam soil with good drainage and a location with good air circulation. They can tolerate considerable heat, humidity, drought or excessive moisture, but not shade or poor aeration. That is totally me in a well tended pot full of cow poop.
This morning when I was driving down to the Ferry, I realized that it was 7:01am and the sun was coming up, like I could SEE it, over the mountain, shining on the water, and it was going to be sunny, bright, if chilly, morning. This has been the longest, darkest, wettest winter we have had in the five years since moving to the Pacific Northwest and the sun this morning felt like seeing land after being lost at sea for five months. My spirit sang, my eyes welled up with tears, I was singing the hamster song to my kids ‘just because’!
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a real thing. It is not just for weenies who take prescription meds because they feel tired a few days in a row. SAD is a mood disorder associated with depression episodes and related to seasonal variations of light. (SAD was first noted before 1845, but was not officially named until the early 1980’s, if you wanna know!). As sunlight has affected the seasonal activities of animals (i.e., reproductive cycles and hibernation), SAD is an effect of this seasonal light variation in humans. As seasons change, there is a shift in our “biological internal clocks” or circadian rhythm, due partly to these changes in sunlight patterns. This can cause our biological clocks to be out of “step” with our daily schedules. The most difficult months for SAD sufferers are January and February, and women are at higher risk.
Symptoms Include:
Regularly occurring symptoms of depression (excessive eating and sleeping, weight gain) during the fall or winter months. For me this included wine therapy…not so good.
Remission from depression occurs in the spring and summer months.
Symptoms have occurred in the past two years, with no non-seasonal depression episodes, other than just your normal predictable girlie mood swings.
Seasonal feelings or symptoms of depression substantially outnumber non-seasonal depression episodes.
Craving for sugary and/or starchy foods…okay, that’s a volatile one. I mean I’m not a big chocolate fan, but there are nights when I’d kill for french fries smothered in cheese and green onions that I can dip in Ranch dressing…and that’s pretty much an all year ‘round thing for me.
I was warned by my mother-in-law, Alice when I moved here that it might happen. She, too, was a Southern California girl turned Islander and really struggled hard with the winters. When I have visited during the winter, it has been so incredibly majestic. So green and alive. I couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. How can you be surrounded by nature and water and life and feel sad? Then after the third winter, I understood. It’s not feeling sad. Feeling “sad” is when you lose a pet, or watch Steele Magnolias. But feeling SAD, is not being able to react reasonably to simple problems. It’s being short and cranky without realizing it. It’s having such fear and anxiety when you wake up every morning that you don’t want to fall asleep at night. It’s obsessing and dwelling on things that should normally roll off. It’s losing joy. It’s destructive.
Now I’m a pretty tough broad. I was brought up in the school of “snap out of it, and get a grip!” and am happy to say that that philosophy works almost all of the time. But not with this. I was forced to admit after struggling through three Winters and passing my feelings off on circumstances, that I could no longer cope to my standards during the Winter months without help. I would not be content to merely ‘get through the days’, when that is so not my style! I got help. I saw my nurse practitioner who specializes in Women’s health, and she started me on a serotonin uptake inhibitor that was right for me. Low side effects and a low dose, the whole bit. That was over a year ago, and it’s only during the daylight savings months that I take it. It doesn’t make me a weenie, it makes me responsible.
If you think you might be experiencing SAD, and you think you can just snap out of it, I urge you do some research. There are plenty of she-rah’s out there who are just as strong as you are, but need some help staying that way on occasion.
For More Information:Contact your local Mental Health Association, community mental health center, or:
National Mental Health Association2001 N. Beauregard Street, 12th FloorAlexandria, VA 22311Phone 703/684-7722Fax 703/684-5968Mental Health Resource Center 800/969-NMHATTY Line 800/433-5959
Society for Light Treatment and Biological RhythmP.O. Box 591687174 Cook StreetSan Francisco, CA 94159-1687www.websciences.org/sltbr
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